The last time I visited Chicago it was sweater weather, and I wanted to look like all the cool kids. That’s a challenge for a girl from the Caribbean who only owns open-toed sandals and running sneakers. The first step in my initiative? Buy a pair of boots. I felt fortunate to quickly find a comfortable pair at Macy’s. It was the end of the fashion season, so the $90 boots were on sale for $45. Imagine my pleasure and surprise when they rang up at $15!
The next day, I hit the streets of Chicago, rockin’ my new boots. I felt like one of them. It was good. I walked for blocks, which turned into miles. By the end of the day, I was in the drugstore buying moleskin and the like for my ginormous blister. This added about $20 to my $15 boots.
The next day, I was flying from one son’s home to the next son’s home in Washington state. I was meeting my husband at the airport. I wanted to wow him with my new boots, so I pushed the pain down deep and wore the boots for traveling. By the time I got to the hotel room in Washington, the damage was deep and required more bandages. At another $20 for the large kind, my cheap pair of boots were adding up.
The next problem was that I couldn’t wear shoes with a back anymore. So, off I went to Payless to get Birkenstock knock-offs to wear with wool socks. That look may have been okay for me in my 20s, but now it had a desperate feel. But that’s okay. We were touring around downtown Seattle.
So, the real cost of a cheap pair of boots? Let’s bring back childhood nightmares and solve a math word problem.
Q: Dulcie bought a pair of $90 boots for $45, which were discounted to $15. She then purchased bandages and whatnots for $20. Twice. To avoid further abrading, she bought $25 knock-off Birkenstocks. How much did Dulcie’s cheap pair of boots cost? Show your work.
A: $15 + 2($20) + $25 = $80 + pain & suffering + ultimately looking dorkier than pre-boot look
In summary, it was a high price to pay for a cheap pair of boots. I know you expected words rather than math. The only words I offer today are words of wisdom - there is a high price to pay for a cheap pair of boots.
I reflect on this as the husband and I prepare to head to Chicago for wintry weather and Christmas cheer. I have ordered nice boots in advance and have worn them in increments to break them in. I have learned my lesson. With that, I wish you all tidings of comfort and joy.
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